What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

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Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

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How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

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What's short, ruthless, and asian? Kim Jong Ill

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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Como estan lo que sienta in el tarea de tomo caliente? A. Los sientos! ~ this is why nobody likes Spanish

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT i farted. : l

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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Hey! That's mine! Give it back!

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Worms don't like apples.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did i write this joke? Because i'm a try hard.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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