What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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What did the Asian dad say to his son when he got an A- in math? Good job son.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a man, a bear and a pig? A. ManBearPig

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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Why did the Bruins win against the Flyers? ....they had goal tending.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

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A young black girl walks in to a bar. Because she was not of the legal age to consume alcoholic beverages she was asked to leave in a peaceful manner.

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why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

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Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

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what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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cats are pussies

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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Two gay men are seen walking down a street in Texas. Actually now that I think about it homosexuality is pretty much outlawed in Texas. Two gay men are thrown into a Texan Jail where they spend the rest of their lives, cold hungry and alone.

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

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What did the two homosexual dolphins do when nobody was around? They continued on their way because neither of them had met.

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Why do black people have white hands and feet? Regardless of race or ethnicity, the skin on the palms and soles of the feet is always less pigmented than elsewhere on the body. In darker skinned people this fact is readily observable, but in light skinned people this feature of human biology cannot normally be discerned by simple visual inspection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops