How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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Doctor, I've caught a cold. Take a Halls.

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What's big and long? My dick.

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

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A blind man cant see this joke, so I probably shouldnt write it..

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Why was the man crying? He has aids.

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Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

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Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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A man is playing pacman, on his last life, and is cornered. He inserts another coin in the slot.

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How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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How do you keep black people from hanging around in your front yard? Hang them in the back..

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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who sells coke and ruins lives? Vagina Parker

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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