What did the man say when he put his genitals in a blender? Argggghhh!

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What walks on it's hands My uncle

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

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How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

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The name "Hunter Barksdale".

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how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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What did Mel Gibson say to the African-American? I'm sorry

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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knock knock... ....... no one replies.. the family is deff..

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night and realized that his house was being robbed.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

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What's the color of a healthy kidney. I have no f***ing idea.

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Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops