a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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I am a mime

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drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

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Person 1: what is 2 + 2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: no Person 2: what is it than? Person 1: vagina

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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Why did the blonde throw her alarm clock out the window? Because it was broken.

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Q: A man, already drunk, walked into a bar. What did he say? A: Ouch!

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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Why is the redneck crying? They died of diabeetus.

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Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

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Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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Whats worse than 2 babies in a trashcan. 1 baby in 2 trashcans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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