How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

the boy fell, because he hit a bump.

How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

Question: What do you call a Black person who cooks food at a fried chicken restaurant? Answer: A chef

a jewish man with a boner walks into a wall what does he hit first his cheek due to the fact he was looking at an attractive woman

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

Three construction workers are high up on a building when they decide to take their lunch break there. The three open their respective lunches, converse pleasantly, and enjoy the fine weather.

What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

Roses are blue Violets are green I have issues, What should I do?

A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

A dog walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "What can I get for you?" The dog replies "1 beer please." shocked at the dogs English the bartender sprints out of the bar in terror

What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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