What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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they told me not to write here but i did

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Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing? Her reply was: Kicking a can down the street. What did you think she was doing? Moving?

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what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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