Knock knock Who's There? Woo? Woo who? Stop celebrating and let me in.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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what did the kid with no head get for his birthday? A coffin.

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There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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the lemon was sweet.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Q: What do people usually find funny? A: A joke.

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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Did you hear about the black kid that had a gun? Yeah, it's a.20 gage that his father bought him for Christmas so that he could go hunting together

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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