Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

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Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

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Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Pianos.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

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what has genitial warts? me

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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