Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was holding on to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Pier pressure.

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what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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you...

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Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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What's the Green Lantern's favorite holiday? Hannukah

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

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why did jim die? he had cancer why did jim have no hair? it started to fall out when he was 20 and now he is bald at 30 years old

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What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

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What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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