What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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(PC) What did the homosexual man say when accidently sat on a stick? Ouch.

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Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve you kind here." The black man says, "Is it because I'm black?" The bartender replies, "Yes."

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? He thought he saw a ghost.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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The asian boy only did an hour of study....... nothing was heard of him after his mum found out

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Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

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why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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What's did the white man say to the black man? Howdy.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

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What's funnier than a fat person falling nothing is

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A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops