A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, you heartless asshole.

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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I would tell you a joke but I'm not funny

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Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

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What do you call a guy with no arms? Names.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

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What is the difference between a park bench and a Mexican? The park bench can actually suport a family A. Woj

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What happened to your hamster? It died.

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Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

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Q) What did the cowboy say to the astronaut? A) Howdy.

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roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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