How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

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Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

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What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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