What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops