Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The NBA lockout

thumb_up thumb_down +32

knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

66

thumb_up thumb_down +26

wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

BUT HWY?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down -10

hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops