Kony 2012

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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This comment is anti to jokes.

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Obama 2012

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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