I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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Here come the elephants over the hill!

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

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A White and a Chinese got in a fight, who won? None. The fight was unable to begin because a color is not a living organism.

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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If God gives you lemons you find a new God

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Jax vs Pig Jax: HOHAHOHOHAHOHAHOHA... Etc Pig *spinning head like neck is gonna break off* Shao Kahn: FINISH HIM! Jax: GOT YA! OH YEAH... BEASTIALI*Y, BEAST*ALITY? AGAIN?

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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What did the car do? CRASH!

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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hi i'm a dick, i mean mitt romney

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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Nickelback

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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your mum

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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Lad: Whats that smell Girl: Nothing Lad: That is right nothing now get into the kitchen!

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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