I am so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

Q. Why did the squirrel cross the road? A. Because it was stapled to the chicken.

What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

Womens Rights. Excist in nearly every country on Earth today.

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

Knock Knock? Come in.

A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? They are different species... do i really need to explain the difference??

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

why did the girl fall off the swing ? because she had no arms.

Hey connor and brett its ben, you are both at my house

Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

What's brown and has four wheels? Wood, I lied about the wheels.

What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

What is white and smells like wood? White painted wood

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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