Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

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Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

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Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

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What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

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whats purple and brown lucozade sport

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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what's worse than the holocaust? black people whats worse than black people? mexicans Whats worse than mexicans? 2 mexicans Whats worse than 2 mexicans? Africa

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

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how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

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A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

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identical jokes get different votes.

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A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

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whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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