How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

How did sonic run at the speed of sound because he was fast

What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

A mentally disabled person asked a tree, "Are you a tree?" the tree didn't say anything because it can not speak.

My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

There were two men 1 says "hey stupid" and the other man says "Yeah"

roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because crossing through traffic is very dangerous

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

How do u keep annoying children off your front lawn? Molest Them.

What is more addictive than World Of Warcraft? Heroin

How many women does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Usually just one, and a ladder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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