I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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What did the Little 8 year old boy do when a big black man walked into his house? He said "Hi daddy", then they happily ate dinner together.

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What did the bartender say to the fat guy? Hi

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Why did the Flyers lose to the Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup? Because they aren't as good as the Blackhawks.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Artificial insemination.

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What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because goats lay eggs.

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Why couldn't a little kid turn around in a hall? He has a spear in his back.

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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why did the homosexual man cross the road? to get to his gay partner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because animals walking across a paved street is a very common occurrence ever since the industrialization of the modern world.

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yeyeyeyeye live action

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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What do a boat and a computer have in common? Nothing

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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i hate black people

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Well, I'm naked so I'm going to go.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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How many are in a baker's dozen? 12 bakers

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Why did the black homosexual blind man want to go to the comedy club? He enjoys a good laugh

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He has been drinking alone every day since his wife an unborn child died in an horrific car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops