What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Jesus can walko water Humans are 70% water I can walk on humans Therefore i am 70% Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +27

how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what is almost like Jesus? Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q-What was Hitlers favorite hobby to proceed in when he was sad? A- Manipulating populations and raping,torturing and mutilating the Jewish population.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats Better Than an Anti Joke? sex...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +25

In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops