How did the blind man escape the mugger? He ran into a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's strange, most American's don't eat poo I'm Asian

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's short and weak and has no life..........a Jordan pederson!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are Blue Violets are Red I'm not creative Roses are Blue

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

thumb_up thumb_down -18

My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

q

thumb_up thumb_down -18

In 1843 when Man invented the moon, people set sail on ironclad ships to lands that sold items that weren't for sale in similar such stores in other lands not reachable by ironclad ships or dirigibles as they became known once they changed form completely and were a differentobject entirely and of no use for water transport. That's when the real revolution in telecommunications began, the truck drivers would use CB radios as early as 1287 and 1276 in Canada. the CB radio enabled the users to order pizza and develop symbiotic relationshiops with canvas. Amongst other things.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops