What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are der Violets are eulb I am dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +19

knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

thumb_up thumb_down +19

-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A student often slept through his alarm, which led to a lower class attendance rate and thus a poor performance on his exam

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops