What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Yo mama soooooo dumb! You should really take her to a doctor, she might actually suffer from mental retardation, I'm just concerned about her.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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How many Mexicans can you fit in a Smart car? None. It's too damn small!

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

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Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

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What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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Why was the black man sad? Because his wife and children had been killed in a freak car accident while he had been driving.

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A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops