Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Reeves Christopher

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Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

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I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Three Greeks and Three Turks are traveling by train to a conference. Both racial groups arrive safely to their destination.

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no

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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So an irish man walks into a bar, 10 seconds later he is dead. What happened was there was a sharp piece of metal on the bar so is cut his throat and he bleed to death.

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A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

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I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

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A Mexican walks into a bar. He walked out with a concussion. -ilikecrepes97

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

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Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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