Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

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What did the little boy get on christmas morning? Cancer.

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Knock Knock Come in

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Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his toadstool.

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why did the man throw a stone in the lake? because he'd had a long day at work.

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is difference the other is between.

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What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

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What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

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What did the one alcoholic say to the other? We are both alcoholics

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Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

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AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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A Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They end up getting into a heated argument. After about an hour of back and forth they decide that each person has a valid point, agree to disagree, and go about there business.

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How do you make a black person mad? Set his house on fire.

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What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

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You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

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Why did the milk man cry? Cause you killed his family.

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whats sad about 3 black people driving a Cadillac over a cliff? that was my Cadillac

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Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

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What happened when the wife refused to make her husband a sandwich? Since he was paralyzed from the neck down, he starved to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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