Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

Why did the man die? He was old.

what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

justin bieber: ask me if im a boy are you a boy? no.

One time, I called the police, but it was actually a fire. So my neighbors died.

Im about to rewrite History....... History

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

What's black, white, black, white, black, white, and red? A horse with it's heard chopped off.

what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

why didnt the kid get anything for christmas? santa exploded

A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

Cows are land manatees.

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, for the task at hand is so simple, you should do it.

Q:What do you call Black Jesus ? A:Black Jesus a.w. j.p.

Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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