you dint have to be a jew matt

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Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

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As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

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What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

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What did the blond say to the ginger Stop drop and roll your hairs on fire

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

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What do you get when you cross an own and a bungee cord? My ass

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

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What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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Skrillex.

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feminists.

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Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

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Why did the girl scream in terror? Because her parents are being murdered.

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why is six afraid of seven? because six is a rapist

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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;( ;( ANTIJOKE Write Your Own --------------------------------------------------------- It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Enter the following: I AM NOT A HUMAN Your Answer SOLVE media I AM NOT A HUMAN I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Submit

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What is worse than blue balls for a guy? Depending on the girl, absolutely nothing. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It has been this way for two days now. Whenever he looks over his shoulder and past his wing, he can see them there. Following him. The men with the red eyes. He doesn't know what they want and doesn't want to find out. He crosses that road as he has crossed so many others recently, squawking and shuffling along on his stubby legs, darting through traffic in a risky effort to shake them off of his tailfeathers. He gets to the other side and ascends the curb, walking beak-first into a pair of legs hidden beneath a grey robe. He looks up and sees a pair of eyes like burning coals staring down at him from within the darkness of a hood. He tries to run, but it is too late. He has been taken. His wings and fingers are forfeit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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