Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas. Nothing. He was Jewish.

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why does gamma not smile because he has strokes

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

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what do you call a masculine female? a post op transexual

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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A Duck walks into a bar.

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Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

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q. what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile a. hey robin get in the bat mobile

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What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

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How did the Muslim girl get pregnant? She was brutally raped on the streets of Baghdad.

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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What did the Chicken say to the Turkey Nothing, Chickens don't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Okay, seriously I'm done. I try to make a joke but I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm not funny I'm just a little coward who offers nothing to life. I should just kill myself. Fuck this joke, fuck you.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert. It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert who? Mam, he was in an accident. Could you open the door please?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops