Two friends sit down at a table for lunch. One, in a very frustrated mood, says to the other, "You know what I don't get?" His friend immediately responds: "Sex."

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What's the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same

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What's a good way to kill time? It's impossible to kill an inanimate object.

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One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

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What do you call a Muslim that walks onto a plane? A passenger

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Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

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An African american man fell out of a boat at sea. He swam back to the boat.

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should i know, i do not speak chicken.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Misthrown

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

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Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender doesnt serve her because she is 12.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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Why did Lucy fall out of the tree? Because she sting by a wasp.

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hi

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If you rewind Gozilla, it's about a giant lizard that helps rebuild a burnig city, and then goes back into the ocean again...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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