a man walks into a bar, he tells the bartender "im not a part of this SYSTEM"

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Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

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Where was the black child's dad? At work. He'll be back around 6:30

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Where's Wally? In a children's book.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? feel the other side of the worm in his mouth

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Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? i don't know, he hasn't unwrapped it yet

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Q: What did Albert Einstein say to Adolf Hitler? A: They never talked. And if Albert Einstein did say something to Adolf Hitler, he would have died first.

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What do you do to a little boy who just called you fat? Throw a rhino at him!

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Do you know the muffin man? No

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what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

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You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

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What is the best part about being in bed with twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them

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Why did the boy loose his glass with milk? He got hit by a bus.

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Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "...no..?"

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"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

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What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops