A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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What did the fat kid get for chirstmas? diabetes

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what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

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Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

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How did my grandparents survive the Holocaust? Well for starters, it helps that they weren't Jewish, they didn't live in Europe, and quite frankly, they probably would have supported Hitler because they were right wing pricks.

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Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Why are you looking here? The joke's in your hand.

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Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

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Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

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A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

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What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she lost her balance.

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Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

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17

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

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Why so serious? Your brother died.

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Why was the little boy speechless? His best friend was just run over by a plow truck.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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Why couldn't the Canadian taste the maple syrup? Because someone cut off his tongue. -BLLJ

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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