Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

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I love you Itachi Uchiha, please let me lick ice cream off of your body and oh crap you're an anime character and not real never mind

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what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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Whats more sad then four black men in a car driving off a cliff? The man they stolen the car from doesn't have car insurance.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

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What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

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Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

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A Dyslexic man went to a posh, bought a badnana, and put it no his neck, and lawked around twon.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? George Bush

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Q: what did the suicide bomber say after the attack? A:

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Me, id rather be known as the antijoke rather than the antichrist, I offered him water at the desert just because I care. You killed him. Moral: Once you see the point of this joke, myself, I will be the one laughing, ten years and counting humanity, ten years or so, and the world belongs to me.

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Q: Why did the little boy drop his toy? A: He fell and broke his wrist, then dropped it in the emergency room, due to the broken wrist.

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Cancer.

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What's been hit millions of times? A woman married to an abusive husband.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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