Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

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What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!!

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A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It's still in its pen.

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1 out of every 3 relationships someone is cheating, I wonder if it was my wife or my girlfriend

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What did the turtle say to the hare? Nothing. Animals can't speak.

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A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, and I'm blind .

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What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

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Smelly Indians.

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What's red bubbly and spins around? A baby in a microwave

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

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How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops