What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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copy me and i will kill you

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

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Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

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What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

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when debbie meets downer

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Teacher- And that is why the Pythagorean theorem only works for RIGHT triangles. Any questions? Student- I like grapes.

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Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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4 gay men walk into a bar,but there is only one stool..... What do they do? Turn it over

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither did she.

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Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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