Why was the number 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't.

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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If Selfish Sam has twelve cookies and Tricky Todd asks for three then how many cookies does sam have left? Twelve. Remember he's selfish

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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snooki

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A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

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What is the Hardest part of helping a grandma who has having trouble crossing the road? Picking the gravel out of the wrinkles in her knees.

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My dad

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Arrow in the Knee!

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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Women's rights...

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a protocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "We don't serve their kind here! They'll have to wait outside. We don't want them here." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Listen, why don't you wait out by the speeder. We don't want any trouble."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Adolf Hitler.

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There was an Englishman a Welshman and a Scotsman, all of whom were nationals of the United Kingdom.

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A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

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What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

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Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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