Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

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Me "knock knock" Tramp "who's there" Me "nobody you havent got a door"

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Adolf Hitler.

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

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a man walks into a bar. He left after he drank two beers. Someone pulled his pants down and he didnt notice. when he got home he realized his pants were gone. He returned to the bar to search, but it was a metal bar, and he was fairly stupid. please dont laugh

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A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

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Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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There was an Englishman a Welshman and a Scotsman, all of whom were nationals of the United Kingdom.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A.do i have alzheimer's? B.yes A.do i have alzheimer's?

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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Who paved the road? The fat guy with the steam roller

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

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Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

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There was porn on the Internet I masturbated to it, but my parents caught me, and I can't ever leave the house again until I'm 18.

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A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

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how do u talk to a person you like go up and talk to them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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