Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

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what's white, sits around all day, and sucks on tits? a baby.

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Don't believe in Atheists.

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Why is 16 scared of 17? Because 17, 18, 19 *crickets*

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What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

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Where can I apply for janitor school?

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Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

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A piece of shit gets flushed down the toilet. The end.

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In Kentucky...your grandmother rapes you.

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

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What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

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a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

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Q: knock knock who is there A;dunno go check

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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two people are falling out of a plane, a blond and a brunnete who hit the ground first. the blond, the brunnete brought a parachute

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How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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What did the depressed girl say to her mother? I cut my wrists

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What's worse then the Boston bombing? The Texas bombing, considering Texas is a much bigger region then Boston.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "So why are you so happy?" The amputee doesn't answer because he has been completely deaf, blind and mute since birth.

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I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? To see outer space

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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