What do you call a black man with mishap-in head scares on the left side of his face and a 3rd degree burns on the right side? a very unfortunate guy.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

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Roses are red Violets are violet Why does it go like that anyways? ~Yasmin~

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a man was walking and saw a snake he was not afraid of snakes so he kept walking

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

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why didthe man's computer crash? the man has a serious porn addiction

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Jesus, a frog, and Faith Hill walk into a bar. The frog says, "What is this, a joke?"

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

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What happen to the girl that did the splits. Her legs broke.

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Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

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What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting at your doorstep? matt what do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water? bob what do you call a man that just had his daughter taken away from him? ...sam

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

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What does 1 black person on the moon mean? A problem. What do 2 black people on the moon mean? A problem. What does every black person on the world on the moon mean? It's still a problem.

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"Hey baby, how much?" "$2.99 each or 2 for $5.00, Steve." "Thanks Baby, I'll take 2."

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How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

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David: Hey dude, I'm so hungry! Jose: Yeah me too David: Wanna get some food? Jose: No, I lied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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