Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. Q: The one stopped. Why? A: His brother fell off, cracked his head, started uncontrollably bleeding and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

PICKLES

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

An Asian man man couldn't find his family, he is deeply concerned and contacts the missing persons unit.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Jennifer walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender's name was Steven. His friend's sister who was my cousin's ex wife has the same name as the girl Jennifer. That's what I heard.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is hitlers favorite planet: jewpiter

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -17

High school is like forced anal sex, Hard, painful, and you cry your hopes and dreams at the end of it all.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the dog barking... Because billy fell down the well

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: how do you stop a baby's crying keeping you up at night A: pull out it's wind pipe

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you distinguish between an unlabeled carton of milk and an unlabeled carton of cream without breaking the seals? You label them.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Koalas mum is a slut

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops