What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

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Coldpaly is a good band

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Why did Stephen get an A on his test? He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

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Why do people like vacations? To get out of your family

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Whats not funny and no one wants to waste the time to reading it? This joke

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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BIble verses: (secret bible code breaker edition) 90.01: Might thy level of power rise above the scouter of Vegebles 3.14: Thy shall make use of pee 6:9 Oral interaction is good for thee. 9:6: Peter said, lordeth this is no good, then the lordet said, try 6:9 and all was good. 6.66 Calleth upon this number on thy cell to speak with the beast. 9:11 This number shall aid you when in danger if thy have a cell, but not against the fallen by and Al Caida. 8:00 Call upon thy cellphone at no cost. 5.99 Thy use of plays of station three, areth too expensive... Whoops! Amen and RIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER! 50:50 Thy shall share equally. 6:19: Thy shall use thy wrestling moves well. 20:00 Thy shall noth uset this windows version as it sucketh.' 88:88 Thy shall create four equal snowmen for me. 12.34 Read this and thy shall learn to count til four. 7:77 The number of the luck. X:B0X: It sucketh hard. 3:60 it sucketh far more than the original 9:99 Is the number to defeateth the beast while he is resting upside down 0:13 "and samuel said, but oh lord, I am a teen now!" And the lord agreed and all was good. Ok, I got to decode my bible further, yes indeed!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave Smith. Oh, hey Dave. Come in.

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Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

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Bob: Hey Jim, what's up? Jim: Obviously the sky, oh and i see a few planes too. by the way why are you asking me why don't you just look up?

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How do u kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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Roses are red Violets are blue you smaell funny just like my poo! this came from the BOTTOM of our hearts!

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What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

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A bear eats some honey. I'm not really sure why and I've never seen a bear eat honey in real life so I don't really know if the bear actually ate any.

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

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What does a scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Btw I have aids And now you too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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