Why did the little boy stick a fork in the electrical socket? Because he wanted to escape his abusive stepfather

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Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

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" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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A fat cat sits on the ground staring up at a fence. The fence stares down at the cat and laughs.

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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what do poor black guy and poor white guy have in common..................................................... their poor

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven died three months ago and was clawing on his bedroom window.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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Hi I am Michael Jackson... you have any young boys? My park is open :), the "nude dark caverns" can be scary, but I accompany them all, so relax. Moral: LEAVE MJ ALONE! ;(

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Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

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The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

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Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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Penis.

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Your d is so small that when you had a boner and walked into the wall....... YOU BROKE YOUR NOSE! Millimeter Monster bro

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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