A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

The name "Hunter Barksdale".

What's worse than winning the lottery? Anything, really...

Your Mommy is a gas pump.

Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

"Ask me a question." "No" "Cheese" ... "What?"

I went to the principle's office because I had a hard time reading They tried to tell me I was lesdistic

why didn't the boy get any presents for his birthday? because when his dad went to the store to get him some presents he ended up buying presents for himself like a huge douchebag.... and the apple doesn't fall from the tree so his son is a douchebag too and doesn't deserve presents.

I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

An Asian, a white man and a black man were running in a race. The Asian won and the black man came second due to his lack of training and motivation over the past couple of months.

why did they make a new iphone? because individuals like to be connected to local and world wide media so they can stay in touch with all news, friends and family.

What did the dog say to the other dog? Ruff, hi, ruff ruff, we are both dogs ruff ruff, ruff ruff, ruff!!

You might be a redneck. Sorry.

Q:Why did the retarded student get called down to the office? A:Because both his parents died in a car accident.

what do dead babies and turkeys have in common? you eat them on ocasions

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

What has potential but is in fact disappointing? This joke.

why was 6 afraid of 7? because if you subtract 6 from 7 only one would survive.

You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

Why did the Flintstones have Christmas? The Flintstones celebrated Christmas because the creator, William Hanna, celebrated it. As it is a kids TV show, you can't expect it to be factually correct.

Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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