Homonyms should be band.

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Why did the...uhh.... Lamp.

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Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

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2 Penises

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What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

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ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

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Why did the man wipe his bum with a sweat-shirt? Because they were all out of toilet paper

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

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Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms, legs, and an eyepatch A: Names

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Women's rights

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what do you call a black man in the dark? missing.

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Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

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I was so fat I went on a diet

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roses are gray, violets are gray, Im a dog

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Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They do. In fact, seagulls can be found near almost any body of water.

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Why shouldn't gingers smoke before they are 3? Because they have souls and still abide by the same rules!........................................................................................................................................ If you laughed at that you either don't like gingers or should be shot. And by the way... Why did Snape kill Dumbledore? Because he had to.

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Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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