Crowded elevator smell different to midget-Confucius say.

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Q:Whats evil ,not funny and on wheels A:The Holocost on wheels

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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The government

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What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

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I know a kid named Ruslonia. What type of name is that?

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What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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What's better than a nice hot shower on a cold, rainy day? Osama bin Laden rotting away at the bottom of the ocean.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Everything I did, Was just a mistake like you.

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Yup, I mean we use all of your techniques and all things considered the messages end up looking pretty much the same, as if the same person had written them, Azure is named Carlos, and well, he is pretty much a computer wiz so you have nothing to worry about.

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I was walking down the street next thing I new 15 blacks and Hispanics died in a dive buy. The next day every white guy in the cars doin the drive buy blew up ohwell

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

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roses are red violets are blue i done you mom a favor by making you...banana and rice don't worry it'll taste just nice

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

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Why did 'Mister Love' get arrested? Clue: One of the most ironic things ever You can guess

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Who smells like urine and his da is a registered sex offender with madeline mccann in his house? Aodhan hearty, May I also include he looks like a bug. Oh and don't forget the rot on his teeth, it is fucking disgusting. It really looks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in quite a substantial period of time, in my opinion, he is the only person who is actually comparible to sean.

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Walnut

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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