What's the difference between a banana and a monkey? They're both yellow, except the monkey

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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How did the Mexican get into the U.S.A.? He came in legally, and got his green card. He then continued his life as a business man and won the lottery four years later for 5 million dollars. He then bought a cool television, he also had children and put the money in their college funds later.

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life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

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Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

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justin bieber is a good singer april fools haha you thought hell had frozen over

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

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When did Osama Bin Laden die? Nobody gives a @!?$

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Why can't black people be astronauts? Institutionalized racism.

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Q: Why did Frank have a big horse named Bubba? A: He was allergic to cats

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why did josh pick up the quarter because he's a jew

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Q: What's grey and rocky? A: A grey rocking hair

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A group of Germans eagerly await the FIFA football rankings. England is fourth.

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What is old and fancy and comes in two pieces? Marie Antoinette.

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Rebecca Black.

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Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops