I going to the kitchen to make a #sandwich.....oh wait this isn't twitter

Dad: i hate you. dads son:(kills him self)

how did the cat call 9-1-1? very carefully as cats do not have opposable thumbs, making the whole situation rare, and semi-improbable.

Knock Knock! Who's there? The mailman! The mailman who? *opens door* Just kidding, I'm actually an axe-murderer!

How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

Stop Iran! We need the money.

A bear comes across some people on a camping trip. But he then promptly leaves, because bears aren't inherently aggressive unless caring for their young or if they are provoked.

Why are white people white? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are black people black? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are Mexicans so tan? Cuz they were in the sun too long at birth

What did Osama bin Laden say when he heard loud gunshots outside his millitary compound? A: We'll never find out

HOW DO YOU KILL A BLACK MAN? YOU DONT

Whats the difference between me and a ghost? What? Ghost are not dolphins

A: my name is Joe and i like onion B: ok

knock knock. who's there? me. me who? shut up im robbing you.

ilglsdfbvklwbkvbsjklgvsdgbvilsdbklvbwdjkbvwdfseghrfvuowebg

Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

What's worst then finding a worm in your apple Eating it.

dassa

Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

What's green and has wheels? The farmer's tractor.

Why was the Jewish boy afraid of an oven? The last oven malfunctioned and killed his father.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

Your dad is so fat, that eventually he got on Biggest Loser and ended living a very successful life.

Why did the Jew cross the road? After looking both ways many times, repeatedly, to make sure there was absolutely no element of possible danger, he concluded that his best option was the cross the road.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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