Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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Yo momma's so stupid she comes up in a lot of jokes titled "yo momma jokes"

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A black child gives away his piece of fried chicken. He is allergic, and eats some watermelon instead.

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What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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Your mom is so fat that I worry she may develop diabetes.

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I'm 23, just like most people my age.

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What's slower than mollasses? Your fattass mother!

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Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

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Well Erron, its your lucky day then. I wont even ask what a cream pie is.

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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Whats 89 x 67? Sponge. Whats 10 + 9? 19 Whats 9 + 10? 21!

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Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

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I had a really great joke to tell you!

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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If this becomes top-viewed I will post more milk related jokes

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What did the redneck say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators.

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I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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