What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was John Elway.

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What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

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What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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Did you hear about the guy that told bad jokes? No.

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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Life is like a box of chocolates! It sucks if you have diabetes

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops