A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. A.Knock knock B. Who's there? A.Not Susie

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What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

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Did you hear the one about the HIV positive man that got rear-ended on the highway? The motorist behind him was distracted on his cell phone, and did not hit the breaks in time to stop.

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How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

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NO! Nero created the MULTIVERSE During the sixth day... And on the seventh... He did not get any sleep or rest either...¨ SO THE GREAT EXPLOSION OF ENDORPHIN'S WAS CREATED AND IT WAS GOOD! Moral:"Seriously, get lost, only the trio of the Gods Me,Myself, and I, are worthy of this tribulation!

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

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A black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving Their designated driver who they carefully selected as someone they thought had enough self-control to not drink and could get both of them home safely

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How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He was happy to do it.

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Why is Diarreah genetic? It runs in your genes.

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How many black guys can fit in a minivan? Eight.

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

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Did you hear about the sale on the toyota cars from japan? if you can get it out of the water its free!

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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Q. What do you get when you cross a man, a bear and a pig? A. ManBearPig

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So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

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Robin, get in the batmobile

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

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your mama so old, shes dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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